When Should You Get a Divorce?
It is a sad fact that of all Americans who have been married, one out of three has also experienced at least one divorce. All couple have problems from time to time and more than once; which can be seen by the high rate of divorce in America. Deep commitment and honest, open communication are the solution to many marital problems. For more serious issues, some couples turn to marital counseling and may find renewed strength at the end of that journey.
Some problems escalate into insurmountable barriers to a successful marriage, unfortunately. Generally these seemingly unsolvable issues stem from one or both partners refusing to address their problems while they are still manageable. Emotional abandonment by a spouse may be the result of injured feelings that have not been expressed properly, and the ensuing resentment that builds from a lack of validation by the one who did the hurting. As one of the couple get more entangled in such thoughts, soon the couple will end up seeking divorce.
Lack of communication is the beginning of the downhill slide that eventually leads to separation. It may start with keeping secrets, and soon one or both spouses avoid talking to each other about marital problems or possibly even life in general. The most important aspect of any marriage is trust, once communication has stopped trust is difficult to achieve.
Shortly following a breakdown in communication, a partner may begin to employ personal defense mechanisms that will continue to weaken the marital bond. There is no diplomatic way to solve marital problems when two people refuse to listen, speak, or compromise. One surefire way to sabotage your own marriage is to behave in a passive-aggressive manner or use the silent treatment as punishment.
On the other hand, a spouse may make multiple efforts to address marital problems only to be shut out by the other who is utilizing unhealthy defenses. When only one mate is making a sincere effort without any results, he or she may decide it less painfull to pull away entirely from the marriage. This is a stage when either or both the spouse want to call it a day to end the relationship.
When a marriage is doomed, is there a “point of no return”? Certainly there is. However, that point is different for each couple. The key to saving a marriage is willingness to save it. If one or both spouses have given up on their partnership, there is not much hope. The road to marital recovery requires honesty, communication, patience, forgiveness and commitment for couples who have not given up. It can be a long, arduous process, but divorce can be just as difficult.
If you want more information, you can learn more about my experience as an experienced Austin family law lawyer. You can also get a free copy of our Austin TX Divorce Guide CD at www.TruslerLegal.com. If you haven’t found what you’re looking for, you can see our questions about divorce in Austin.
Mail this post
Tags: divorce, marriage, Separation