Saving My Marriage
So my enchanted relationship hit a bump and the happily-ever after began to disintegrate and I felt confused. Something seemed to have changed in my marriage and I was ill at ease….you know that premonition you have that all is not well but you cannot isolate what is wrong….you wonder whether you are being paranoid but the inkling doesn’t go away. In trying to help save my marriage I followed these steps.
1. I accepted that something was wrong. Saving my marriage entailed me being candid with myself and to examine if my outlook really were based on truth or on my natural misgivings. I discovered that pretending that all was well did not work as I just got more and more wary. After much fretting I decided to confront the problem directly.
2. I looked to see if he had changed. Saving my marriage required that I take a closer look at my man and his routine to see if there were any subtle changes. I looked at his whole demeanor including his appearance, conduct and disposition; and his relationship with me. In my case his look and smell was unchanged, he had the same fashion sense and he kept using his old cologne. His behaviour was still the same as he was the same friendly man that I knew. But his mood had changed and he seemed oddly cheerful. In addition how he related with me had been upped and he was more caring in terms of gifts that he bought me but there was something off with our emotionally connection.
3. I tracked down the changes. Realizing that what I had observed could be due to pressure from work, home or from his other relationships. So in saving my marriage I arranged to accidentally meet and casually chat to his colleagues and his pals and observed their behaviour toward me keenly to see if it had changed delicately. And I detected out of character behavior. Some of his close associates seemed awkward with me… nothing blatant, again just a feeling that there was something wrong. So I resolved to take my game to the next level and pay him a visit at the office to see how his other work mates would react to me. I was at this point plagued by feelings of fear but I had to know. As I chatted with him I noticed his workmates looking at me in a peculiar way (or were they pitying looks); that just made me uncomfortable.
4. I faced him. Yes I realize that I didn’t have enough to go on but in saving my marriage I recognized that the suspense was killing me. So I bore down and continued being good to him and waited for a day when he was in a agreeably good mood and just sat with him and encouraged him to talk to me. I did not harass him; I just kept listening quietly to him; I listened to him for a number of days….and he eventually bared his soul….he was having an affair with a new girl in the office. Of course she meant nothing to him….you must have heard the story….she came on to me etc….. I am fighting the almost overwhelming urge to clobber him to death for his mind-boggling foolishness.
What should I do now in my efforts to help save my marriage? Can I continue to live with someone with the capacity for such foolhardiness? Is my marriage salvageable???
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